Yesterday I learned that Ben is dead. I keep thinking that if I repeat it to myself often enough, the words might finally start making sense. Lung cancer. Ironic, given that I've been smoking since I was thirteen while Ben never as much as touched a cigarette, as far as I know.

There's a lot I didn't know about him, though. I didn't know that he was sick, for one. I didn't know that he got married. The obituary mentions two daughters, Lily and Becca. I didn't know about them eithe


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